ignite foundational sparks of thought
for what Oh Captain My Captain fought
words collected, crafted
they'd go on for what's longer than what we'd ever lasted
but still we'd have the favorable time to tell of our encountered sensations
summer wind, whim
how the fragments of our minds carry on, and i'd pray that the days be far less grim
the day'd be ours with our declared Carpe Diem!
to live, thrive
does the language of passion allow us to pursue, allow us to everlastingly woo
and so we'd use this as we'd suck all of we could out of great life
individual notion, thought
shouldn't be so easily bought, isn't just a mere smear of old tattered brain gear
this was all shared as well as found in our cave underground
only ours, exclusively
in no other's could you find what's going through my own mind
like Todd we'd all have our thoughts odd
opened doors, so much more
does the art of words provide
this kind of freedom Neil would try to strive
"O me, O life of the questions of these recurring. Of the endless trains of the faithless. Of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer: that you are here. That life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
excellent start. way to incorporate language from the movie and your own thoughts. one thing that i noticed is you might want to add more thought about how this connects to your own personal life because it almost sounds like it just about our lives in general and not how it relates to you. MS(3)
ReplyDeleteI think that your allusion is really good but if you could make it connect specifically to you then your poem then it could be really good.
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